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What to Do If Your New Sex Toy Isn’t What You Expected

What to Do If Your New Sex Toy Isn’t What You Expected

  • Saturday, 15 June 2024
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Purchasing a new sex toy can be an exciting experience, but sometimes the reality doesn’t quite match your expectations. Whether it’s due to the texture, size, functionality, or overall performance, it’s common to feel a bit disappointed. Here’s a comprehensive guide on what to do if your new sex toy isn’t what you expected.

Give It Another Chance

Try Again

First impressions aren’t always accurate. Sometimes, using the toy in a different setting or mood can make a big difference. Ensure you’re relaxed and in a comfortable environment. Experiment with different techniques, positions, and levels of arousal to see if your perception changes.

Experiment with Lubricants

Using a different type or amount of lubricant can significantly alter the experience. Water-based lubricants are versatile, but you might find silicone-based or hybrid lubricants enhance the sensation better with certain toys.

Analyze the Issue

Identify Specific Problems

Pinpoint what exactly isn’t meeting your expectations. Is it the size, shape, material, or functionality? Understanding the precise issue can help you decide the best course of action and inform future purchases.

Check for Defects

Ensure that the toy is functioning as intended. Sometimes, a defect or malfunction can lead to a poor experience. If you suspect there’s a problem with the toy itself, this might be grounds for a return or exchange.

Explore Alternatives

Repurpose the Toy

Consider using the toy in a different way. A vibrator designed for internal use might work better for external stimulation, or a toy that’s too large for penetration could be used for foreplay or body massage.

Combine with Other Toys

Using the toy in combination with other sex toys or accessories can enhance the experience. For example, pairing a disappointing dildo with a powerful clitoral stimulator might provide the desired level of satisfaction.

Return or Exchange

Review Return Policies

Before making any purchases, always check the return and exchange policies of the store. Some retailers offer satisfaction guarantees, allowing you to return or exchange products within a certain period if you’re not happy with them.

Contact Customer Service

Reach out to the store’s customer service department to explain your dissatisfaction. Many companies are willing to work with customers to ensure satisfaction, whether through an exchange, store credit, or refund.

Resell or Donate

Resell Unused Toys

If the toy is unused and in its original packaging, consider reselling it on platforms like eBay or adult product marketplaces. Make sure to adhere to the platform’s guidelines regarding the sale of adult items.


Some organizations accept donations of unused, unopened sex toys for educational purposes or to distribute to those in need. Ensure the toy is in its original packaging and has never been used.

Proper Disposal


For toys that cannot be returned, resold, or donated, consider recycling. Some companies and local recycling programs accept sex toys for recycling. Check with the manufacturer or local facilities to see if they accept such items.

Safe Disposal

If recycling isn’t an option, make sure to dispose of the toy safely and responsibly. Remove batteries and any electronic components, and follow your local guidelines for disposing of electronic waste.

Learn and Move Forward

Research Thoroughly

Use this experience to guide future purchases. Read reviews, watch product demos, and seek recommendations from trusted sources. Understanding what didn’t work with this toy can help you make better choices next time.

Community Feedback

Join online forums or communities focused on sexual wellness. Members often share honest reviews and personal experiences, providing valuable insights and helping you avoid similar disappointments.

Consult Experts

If you’re unsure about what to look for in a sex toy, consider consulting a sex therapist or educator. They can provide personalized advice based on your preferences and needs, helping you find the right toy.


Discovering that your new sex toy isn’t what you expected can be disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. By giving the toy another chance, identifying specific issues, exploring alternatives, and leveraging return or exchange policies, you can turn a less-than-ideal situation into a learning experience. Use this opportunity to better understand your preferences and make more informed choices in the future. Remember, the journey to sexual satisfaction is personal and unique, and finding the perfect toy is a part of that journey.

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