The Pros And Cons Of A Remote Control Vibrator

As you are reading this, someone out there is probably using a remote control vibrator right now.

What is a remote control vibrator?

For those who are new to the concept, a remote vibrator is a sex toy that can be controlled by somebody else.

Sounds straightforward, right? But there are many ways a sex toy can be remotely controlled.

1. With a separate remote

These have been around for quite some time now — just like how you had remote control cars as a kid, you can get a vibrator with an included remote that you can use to control your sex toy within a certain radius

2. Via an app, in-room

Similar to the above, but you can get a vibrator that is compatible with an app to send discrete vibrations within a radius. The Supor Vibrator we created fits into this category.

3. Via an app, anywhere with an internet connection

Some vibrators can be both controlled locally via bluetooth and remotely from anywhere around the world — as long as you have an internet connection. This can be perfect for long distance relationships, but depending on the toy you choose, having it available on wifi without proper security and anonymization measures may leave you vulnerable to exposing intimate data about yourself.

If you're curious to learn more about what's safe, check out the Mozilla Foundation's guide to safe, smart sex toys in their guide *Privacy Not Included.

What are the pros?

1. A fun activity to share with your partner

One of the best ways to keep a relationship satisfying is to explore new experiences together. New activities could be anything from trying new hobbies together, going somewhere new (like a new restaurant in town or an exotic vacation), or… trying a new sex toy together. Regardless of how the experience goes (sex toys can either be fun or a dud), no matter how thrilling or awkward the experience might be, trying a new sex toy together can be a great way to bond and open up to each other.

2. Hand over control to your partner

Does the idea of handing control (or being handed control) sound exciting? If so, a remote control vibrator is a great option to realize this fantasy.

3. Explore new sensations that you may have not considered

It’s easy to fall into a routine when masturbating or having sex, whether it includes toys or is au natural. You know what works, you move this way or that, you orgasm, and...you’re done. After a while, it can get boring. By handing over control to someone else, they’ll likely do something different than what you’d usually do. Sometimes it’ll miss the mark, but hey, you might come across something new that feels good. It might be a new sensation, or just the experience of someone else controlling your pleasure could offer new dimensions to experience pleasure together.

What are the cons?

1. The signal can drop frequently (rendering the remote control part useless)

You get your remote control vibrator and are stoked to try it, ASAP. But then...it’s not connecting. Or the connection’s dropping. “Hang on, sweetie... I need to reconnect!” is not an uncommon experience with many remote control vibrators, unfortunately.

There are a variety of reasons for the inconsistencies of this technology, from bluetooth not being capable enough to continuously transfer information from the vibrator without dropping sometimes, to the phone you’re using (older/certain Android phones can be much more prone to inconsistencies), to the way the software/hardware is implemented in a product.

It’s partly why we at Lioness didn’t introduce remote control functionality out of the gate. We don’t want to introduce something that wouldn’t work well with the currently existing technology. Fortunately, technology is catching up now, so we should be seeing things working smoothly (hopefully for many remote control vibrators) in the near future.

(Quick pro tip: if you have an older phone or non-Samsung Android and want to use remote control vibrators, we may suggest upgrading your phone or get an Android that has more of the current tech!)

2. Data/Privacy concerns

Especially since most sex toy companies are not software companies, and even many software companies are not set up in a way to protect themselves from data breaches, this is a very real concern, especially for personal data that many people wish to keep private.

Taking a quote from my Co-founder and CTO James Wang:

“You need to follow security best-practices and keep your system up-to-date. Even companies outside the ‘sextech’ space don’t take this seriously enough. I’ve helped a few companies that deal with sensitive information deal with ransomware and similar attacks, and while I’m no expert, most attacks aren’t particularly high-tech or complicated which make defeating them mostly just an exercise in care and thoroughness. In general, you have a lower level of technical sophistication in the sex toy space than average—making it even more likely many companies aren’t taking even basic measures to secure their data.”

Basically, you want a product from a company that didn’t set up their software haphazardly. You want to know what data they’re collecting, how they’re using it, and be able to have a say over how your data is used (i.e. enthusiastic consent).

If you're curious to learn more about what's sex toys out there follow up-to-date security measures, check out the Mozilla Foundation's guide to safe, smart sex toys in their guide *Privacy Not Included.

3. Finding a sex toy that’s pleasurable in the first place

There’s a lot that goes into finding a sex toy that’s pleasurable. Not just the app/software, but also the physical form factor, the sensation, how it’s used, etc. If you’re buying a sex toy for someone else , we recommend buying it with that someone (or at least know your partner’s preferences before buying). If you need a primer on sex toys,  here’s a thorough guide on what to consider when shopping for one.